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Lavallette by Night to Avoid Lenny's.

longest day of the year.

HOAMSTED

MIIRS TURNS 56. FINALLY DECIDES TO SHOWER.

today my beloved ragamuffin faithfullest ov all kompaniononions, lil miirs turns the ripe old age of 7. that makes the white goldfish muskrat bughunter 56 in cat years. he has been rumoured to have said "who gives a hoot" in reference to his aging sometimes early this morn when a low down sparrow and he were enjoying cool mornin mint drinks in the outdoor shower.

BRICK TOWN

metedeconk studioso deluxa

new headquarters

complete with outdoor shower

and this guy, muddy.

sea writings.

gasping for serenity in a fit of longing for all that he lost.
he turns the mirror backward where there is only fiberboard
taking extensive surveys of what remains. gathering up things.
things, intangible tokens, lingering ghost smells, nostalgick wavelengths with a mad and frantic desire to gain what was his ultimate loss the crusher the ender the silencer.
gain back what once filled him with the simple true warm wonder
in a landscape now unending there is no room for what he is looking for its gone for good and thats real cold truth.
and when his hands grow numb and tired
from all that grasping of ghosts
he can feel the new air as it settles in enveloping him and finally stripping him of the torture of futile longing and dumb hope
clarity arrives
and we finally can give in to the last half of a hero's life.

lamb death

here is a link to a site where you can download two albums for free of my latest sonic project, lamb death. i hope to create in music a place where i can express some deeper feeling through sound while engaging the audience/listener into an internal landscape where they can draw their own ideas with mine. i find it to be very rewarding and magical. i make tapes of these albums and others. more on my label, cerebralspasmrecordins, and my other musical endeavors to follow...

shitty pictures of okay drawings

"silence" 2012 pen and ink

"price of gas" detail pen and ink

wtf

i really need a scanner to do this right.

hand to face

final days at the mansion

CINDY JONES FOREVER

she was a mean machine a piscataway queen keepin the heat in her heart and when daddy got drunk baby just split

bridge doesnt actually go there

these ducks came to see me off

thankin me for the bread i fed them over bayside in the winter

yall can have yer beach back

31 years and still no beard.

 

in my 31 years i have seen alot done alot smoked alot slept alot. alot of everything is how i roll, till it becomes too much or deadly. i won't get into my cosmo philosophy, but i am glad to be alive and have had such experiences both deep dark nowheres and big full glaring beauty town everythings.

i can say that i have found a sense of peace and lately i have had a lack of worry and sense of freedom and reassurance about what lays ahead. i have tied up all the things that have haunted me since i was a teen and followed every dream i've ever had. i have a great family and meaningful beautiful healthy and true relations with friends i've been able to keep for many many years.

"Life is a Mystery..." - Madonna

a series of waking

he woke one day and his love didn't want anymore
he woke one day and his mother was very sick
he woke one day and his love wanted even less
he woke one day to find his home full of snakes and shadows
he woke one day and never wanted to sleep again
he woke one day to find himself diseased and increasingly impure
he woke just to curse waking
he woke to a friend breathing for him
he woke and had to get away
he woke completely unfamiliar with who he found
didn't believe in any of the old hymns anymore
he woke sick and in need of devils
he woke to have lost his hand
he woke useless
he woke nowhere to go to wake from
he woke to walk and curse every one of the names
he woke to no bed
he woke to curse waking

you just want to take off running and go so fast that your legs fuckin melt that your face peels away in the wind that your neck snaps chest only form of propulsion black hearted engine runnin rail godspeed infinite never to stop or even slow again.
you want this.

wheblugh

so i feel kinda strange having this i must admit. i don't read many peoples blogs except for my sisters, my good friend chris' excellent music blog, and my musical co-conspirator and constant inspiration david  has one which is super fuckin cool. all of which i would recommend highly. so fuck it. i'm not gonna get into how i feel about self expression. one thing is i have spent alot and do spend alot of time alone as of late, so in an effort to stay connected to ones i love and miss i rely on the internet. Like hey! check out my new song! or this cool link on facebook! now i guess i will use this as a vehicle for two main mediums, photos/artwork and writings. and then whatever else i want. i might just delete it if you like it too much so be careful....

now for some cool pictures....

Jack left eagles everywhere for Strength.

Strength and freedom breathing quietly in the same place.

there is nothing left for us here on the sand like fools,

miirs

this creature is the source of all my luck when i cannot generate any. he loves rooftops, sleeping, smokin mad green and grindcore. he has been the most consistent thing in my life for 7 years and i believe he is from the moon.

marie

yup . hung out with her once. built that train in fact.

7dyhhdyg

there where twelve twins spinning incessantly in ecstacy.
there was a proudheart little foot full to the brim with fantasy
there was a bramble borrower who braided his beard and badly
there was falling walls they stood so tall is all
an old belly and an old brain

thursday wants you to win.

NOOSE vibrating the blaster as i pull mad weeds and shit...

Mrs. Margaret Robinson Andrews (My Paternal Grandmother who died when i was very young) planted these roses what must have been 30 some years ago. It has been a pleasure helping them breathe this spring.

you see this tag in yr hood, you hide all yr bitches.

words

every failing breath sounds worse then the next
don't you dare ask me that on bended knee
covered in scabs from endless proposals
meaningless and infinite both of the best
waiting for a yellow light to stop in btween
and gasp like hungry fish
emily always the superintendent
doesn't everyone fall so stupid?
isn't that horrible?

 

oh christ, fuckin poetry....

The fan swinging precise and reliable above my head,
and within it this cracked out brain organ is swollen.
my ducts have all been driven dry.
there are shadows at play.
one that falls and one which obeys.
is there really a seven tongue moon?
lying backward across sleepovers and tantrums.
diving upwards toward soft kiss and bedrooms.
opening slowly while the fallen smile does lift
itself up from its oh-so selfish pits.

today i finished uploading an old album i put out in 2007. august. - moon book 2007
i have been making my own lil music for about ten years now.
it keeps me interested and insures my life will always be rich.
i like the idea of music as magick, from performance down to recordings, but only sometimes.
i other times like the idea of music for entertainment and many other purposes.

my top 5 fave albums today are...
Radiohead - Hail to the Thief
The books - Music for a French Elevator
Tom Waits - Brawlers
Immortal Trillionaire - Snake V Owl
august. - calibra

hey. my name is nate. my sister wanted me to do this for a long time, and i finally decided to. so... i will try not to bore you or excite you. thank you.